Skidoo

Note: Yes, it's been about two months since I last updated. Much as I'd like this to be a habitual thing for me, I've yet to force myself enough to really get to doing it without thinking. However, I've seen some movies that seem to be asking for reviews, and so here I am.
Also, I've been thinking about changing the name of the blog. "Staring at the Screen" just feels so stupid.

I heard about "Skidoo" from the Agony Booth. In his recap of Myra Breckinridge, Albert Walker mentioned several "counterculture" movies made by Hollywood. (It's a severely ironic concept to think about: Kids make movies that rebel against the Establishment, so the Establishment tries to mock itself to appeal to kids.) Being interested in the topic, I looked all of them up, and "Skidoo" sounded especially intriguing for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was Groucho Marx, and the fact that it was never released on video or DVD.

Several people on that site have seen the movie. Opinions vary on its quality. The Webmaster, Albert, described it as one of the worst movies he'd ever seen. A forum moderator and a guest recapper seemed to agree that it was bad--and not "so bad it's good," but "so bad it's painful." On the other hand, some people didn't totally scream in agony at it, and some even went so far as to say that they liked it as a "turn-off-your-brain-and-watch" movie. This I had to see.
So it was on Turner Classic Movies recently, and I DVR'ed it. I have finished the movie, and I have to say, is that all there is?

By no means is "Skidoo" a good movie. As plenty of people speculate, the movie feels too heavy to be humorous; reports abound as to director Otto Preminger being a dictator on set. An approach like that can work when you make movies about heroin abuse, courtroom drama, or Joan of Arc. It doesn't work quite as well when you're making a comedy.

"Skidoo" is by no means a good movie. It's not funny, even though it wants to be. But a lot of the jokes simply fall flat; from what I'd heard, I expected to be offended by the humor at least every five minutes. Only a few moments were disturbing or offensive (Carol Channing in bra and panties, a joke about rape), whereas the rest simply felt like they were trying too hard to be funny. Look! They're trying to tow his car away, and he's putting the car in reverse and pulling it back! And they keep pulling each other back and forth! And it keeps going, on and on, for at least a minute, which is just too freaking long for a joke that lame.

The plot would indicate that you're in for pain. Jackie Gleason is a mob hitman who's pulled into prison to kill Mickey Rooney, who apparently knows too much. Or something. I don't remember. While there, he accidentally ingests LSD and goes on a trip that seems too absurd, even for an acid trip. (I've never taken hallucinogenic drugs, but do they really cause you to see things like people shrinking?) He is thus liberated from his ego (however the hell that happened), and thus refuses to kill Mickey; however, that means he's stuck in prison. (Apparently, once he killed Rooney, he'd be out of prison within an hour. I'm reminded of the Robot Chicken joke, "This is Alabama! Fifteen minutes is all you get for touching a child!")

However, the man whose LSD he ingested (The Professor) comes up with an escape plan. It involves stealing a variety of objects from the prison (rope, food wrapping, garbage cans, pressurized oxygen) and putting LSD into the prison's food supply. That last bit is accomplished by dumping his stationery into a pot. (Nothing like paper to give your food that extra kick.) Amazingly, everybody on the prison grounds except the three escapees eat the LSD and subsequently go batty. And I mean everybody--the guards, the prisoners, the cooks, the phone operators, even the warden and a visiting Senator. Who knew you could feed everyone on a prison grounds in only five minutes?

Meanwhile, Gleason's daughter has fallen in with hippies. She's gone to God (Groucho Marx) and found out about his plans, while God tries to get her hippie boyfriend Stash (John Philip Law) to deal drugs for him. Stash gets his hippie friends to invade the boat, along with Gleason's wife, played by Carol Channing, who dresses up as George Washington [!] and sings the movie's theme song [!?!] while invading God's yacht. Meanwhile, Gleason and the Professor land their hot-air balloon (made out of garbage cans and food wrappers) on the yacht. Amazing what can happen in one day.

Somehow, this is all just flat. The whole thing feels leaden. If it were to work, it would need to be fast and snappy, but alas, it just doesn't go. The movie isn't good enough to be funny and isn't bad enough to be agonizing. Overall, it's a disappointment whether you're expecting a good movie or a bad one.